Up Close and Personal

A few weeks ago, I wrote about an incident at the church we attend in our daughter’s college town: (https://simplyjoy.online/blog/doubt/too-much-like-peter/).  “During worship, I felt this overwhelming desire to step into the aisle and kneel during worship.  Had I been at our home church, I would have done it and not given it a second thought.  But I gave it a second, third, fourth thought.  So many thoughts that I held off the urge until the song was over.”

Last weekend, we were back at our church away from home.  Obviously, the events of my last visit weighed on my mind. The first worship song was upbeat so it was easy to lose myself in praise.  The second song was new and with a softer, slower beat, I found myself facing that feeling again.  “Kneel.”  You’d think after the last time, I would have hit my knees immediately.  The problem?  I didn’t trust where the feeling was coming from.  Was it my guilt from not obeying the last time God placed that desire on my heart?  Or was it Jesus gently nudging me?  I began to pray for the Lord to make it clear to me whose voice I was hearing.

I closed my eyes and prayed, “Lord, if this is from you, let the next song be Amazing Grace.”  Now, I can’t tell you why I chose that song.  It is certainly one of my favorites.  And it often brings me to tears because it reminds me of my mom.  But it certainly isn’t a song that is commonly sung; worship teams tend to choose current contemporary songs with a hymn sprinkled in from time to time.  I had my answer.  The nudge wasn’t from Jesus.

And then the worship leader began playing and I immediately recognized the familiar melody.  The church began to sing, “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.  That saved a wretch like me.  I once was lost.  But now am found.  Was blind but now I see.”  I fell to my knees, resting my arms on the seat of my chair.  I was overcome by the up close and personal response from my Jesus.  I have been blessed to have messages, confirmations, dreams, and visions that I know are from the Lord.  But I don’t know if I have ever received an answer to prayer in an instant.  Until this moment.  I can’t tell you why Jesus decided to bless me in such a meaningful and personal way that day.  I don’t know if it was because my heart was tender and open. I don’t know if it was my desire to honor Him.  The why doesn’t matter.  The Who does.  My Lord and Savior, who thousands of years ago died with me on his heart and mind, showed me his unconditional, life-altering love through a simple answer. 

He showed it to me again a moment later through a hand rubbing my back in comfort as tears streamed down my face.  A hand that reached out and took my left hand as I lifted my right hand to the Lord in praise and humility.  That hand belonged to my daughter.  She didn’t know what had transpired. She only knew that Amazing Grace made me think of my mom.  My daughter, who was sitting three seats away from me pushed past her roommate and her dad to get to me.  And for the next five minutes, as the church sang three verses of Amazing Grace, my daughter showed me the love of Jesus.  In her hand, I felt Jesus’ hand.  In her touch, I felt His touch.  In her compassion, I felt His compassion.  A simple act of love from  daughter to mother. 

In that simple act, my daughter was living out the command Jesus gave us in John 13:34:  “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”  Don’t miss Jesus’ clarification – even as I have loved you.  The depth and breadth of Jesus’ love for us was pinned to a cross on Calvary.  That sacrificial love is what He is calling us to give to one another.  Pure.  Honest.  Love.  I was blessed to receive that love from Jesus and then from my daughter.

I have shared this story with several people since Sunday.  And each time, I am filled with gratitude and humbled by the Jesus who answered this sinner’s request.  Who removed any doubt of coincidence.  Who removed any lies that Jesus is unreachable.  When I shared what happened with my family and my daughter’s friends, their responses ranged from “No Way.  That’s Crazy.”  To “Wow.”  To a bent head shaking in amazement.  When I shared the story with  my hairstylist, he had to take a moment to wipe his eyes.  My best friend?  She got chills and just smiled as a daughter of Christ who knows the Savior’s faithfulness.

So, what happened on Sunday didn’t happen to just me.  For each time this story is shared, it is a gift.  A gift that reminds you that Jesus is full on, head over heels, in love with you.  That my Jesus is your Jesus.  That while He doesn’t always answer requests so quickly – actually He rarely does – He hears them and He feels them before they ever leave your lips.  He is waiting for you to call out to Him.  He is waiting for you to ask Him to show you the way.  My Jesus isn’t far away.  He’s sitting beside me as I write this.  And He’s sitting beside you as you read. 

Our Jesus is an up close and personal Jesus.  Perhaps it is time to kneel in gratitude and humility.  And when we get up, let us love as He loves.

This week, I encourage you to find a way to show Jesus’ love to someone.  And please, share this story as you feel led.  I pray it will encourage others.

This week’s accompanying prayer can be found at: https://simplyjoy.online/prayers/live-for-jesus/jesus-is-near/