The last week I’ve spent sitting with God, processing a time of worship, grace, and conviction that occurred at church on April 28. It wasn’t until now that I felt ready to share. It was one of those experiences that you hold close because it is so personal; protecting its fragility because you are afraid that you’ll be careless and destroy it.
It started with a prophetic reading. Some of you may not be familiar with prophetic ministry; it is simply God speaking to us through others. I had been praying about the reading, hoping to hear someone share Isaiah 41:10 as a reference or to mention a kaleidoscope as a word from God regarding something that has been on my heart. I heard neither. And to be honest, I was disappointed. Only I would go into a prophetic reading and be disappointed by what I heard! Prophetic readings aren’t about reinforcing our desires, but rather hearing God’s heart for us. And despite my deflated expectations, God showed up and reminded me that He always knows what I need.
While I won’t share all the details, bear with me as I share some. The common theme throughout the prophetic reading was God’s provision and my need for and God’s desire to refresh me. “John” started the reading by sharing that he sensed I was struggling with something and asking how are things going to come together? Okay, not my kaleidoscope moment but dead on. He heard the Toby Mac song Help is On the Way and said God is telling you, help is on the way. The problems aren’t really problems. Things are going to work out better than you can imagine. Next “Sue” said God gave her the image of a fountain and me sitting at the edge being refreshed. “He wants to remind you that any time you feel you need refreshment or encouragement, like a fountain on a dry day, the best place to go is God – the fountain of life.” “Jane” followed saying, “I see you standing almost in the flow, as you feel refreshed, it’s also cleansing, taking away hurt or things weighing you down this season. It’s not just refreshed for the moment but healing and blessing that you’re standing in. He is refreshing you, to refresh others. “Lisa” finished by saying she kept hearing the song, “Help me, Rhonda.” God wants you to spend time with Him because He wants to get things out of your heart that are getting in the way of His plan for your life. God is calling you for a deeper, deeper walk, she said. But He needs your help.
Well, alrighty then. As I sat in the sanctuary waiting for worship to start, I prayed for God to reveal to me what I needed to learn and to show me that this was truly His message for me. Typing that sentence, saddens me. Because in that moment, I didn’t truly trust His words. Like Gideon (Judges 6:36-39), I wanted God to prove Himself to me.
And prove Himself He did. The first and third worship songs that morning had references to fountains. Praise – Elevation Worship. “Cause praise is the fountain my enemies drown in.” King of My Heart – Bethel Music, “Let the King of my heart be the mountain where I run, the fountain I drink from, oh He is my Song.” As we sang “You’re never gonna let, never gonna let me down.” I was just so overcome and convicted of how patient my Father is; loving me so much that He gave me the reassurance I was craving. He poured out his confirmation on me, drenching me in love and reminding me that His words never return empty; they are always intensely and beautifully personal.
We worshipped for 50 minutes! I was so filled with Holy Spirit, and you could feel the presence of God among us. As we praised and lifted our voices, God poured out His love and blessing. It was intense. It was incredible. It was humbling. I am not speaking lightly when I say I thought my heart would explode with the joy I felt. My cheeks hurt from smiling.
After worship, we always have a moment of fellowship. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an older man who sits across the aisle from us walking toward me. I walked to him; he took my hand, looked into my eyes, and said, “You have a strong faith.” I covered his hand with my other hand and said, “I do love Jesus!” He said, “I can feel it in my heart. You make my heart full.” We introduced ourselves and I learned his name was Paul. I walked back to my seat, tears in my eyes that matched his.
And as I stood there, all I could think was, “wow.” My reading talked about needing to be refreshed in Jesus, the Fountain of Life. The worship refreshed me. I poured out my praise and love to Jesus with abandon and God poured into me. He was calling me to draw closer. To live in the moment and when I did that, His love flowed through me and refreshed Paul. Just as they said in the prophetic reading. Point taken, Lord.
At the end of the service, our Pastor prayed and called for Holy Spirit’s healing power to rain down. I believe in healings; I’ve just always struggled with believing God would heal me. My doubt always outweighed my faith. But I soon learned, God’s lessons for me were not yet over. My right Achilles tendon has been bothering me for weeks. So, I laid hands on my tendon, and I prayed, believing for healing. My Achilles tendon stopped hurting. Immediately. I came in with pain and I left pain free. And the pain has stayed away. I know healings don’t happen every time and for everyone. But I can tell you, God healed my ankle, on that spirit-filled Sunday morning.
As the service ended, Paul left early as he normally does to avoid the rush. But he stopped, took my hand again, and said, “You blessed my heart. Thank you.”
I walked to my car completely wrecked and overwhelmed by the experience of that Sunday morning. I have felt God before. But I have never experienced the outpouring I received this particular morning. I was so overcome, I sat in my car and cried.
I cried because I serve a Savior who loves me so deeply and personally that He would flip the tables of my mind and reach deeply into my heart to remind me of who He is and who I am in Him. He is relentless in His pursuit of me. His desire to spend time, pouring into me, is real. It is tangible. It is a demonstration of his immeasurable love for me. His arms are open. His lap is waiting for his daughter to curl up in. His heart is full, ready to share wisdom. He waits only for me to accept. To have a heart so open to the joy He wants to impart.
I know this post is long. But I desperately want you to understand the depth and breadth of what I felt that Sunday morning. To know that God’s power and grace and love are beyond what we can fathom. That it is life changing. Life altering. Life giving.
It is truly refreshing.
❤️