Why? Trusting Without Answers

The day after the tragic shooting in Uvalde Texas that took the lives of 19 children and 2 teachers, I wrote this prayer:

“Lord Jesus, I am coming to you in desperate prayer because I don’t understand, and I can’t comprehend the evil and illness that would lead someone to murder children in an elementary school. I know that you are always with us and that You have given us free will. But Lord, why should someone have free will to take the lives of children in a place they should always feel safe? I know there are no answers this side of heaven. In moments like this is when we, as Christians, can struggle to answer that question, “How can your God allow this?” All I can do is come to you on my knees in desperate prayer for the families, the moms and dads, the siblings, the other children, the families of the teachers. There aren’t words that express the pain that these families are suffering. The unfathomable loss. The life that must go on without their babies. Wrap them in your loving arms and give them the peace only you can provide. And we know their sweet babies are now dancing in heaven with you. Love them as only you can. In Jesus Name. Amen.”

Times like this are so difficult for Christians, not because we question our faith or our God – although some might, and I have in the past.  But because in moments like this, we are faced with questions from non-believers or fragile or immature believers.  Questions with no easy or satisfactory answer.  The weight of opportunity in these moments can be crippling.  Our response and answer to those cries of “Why?” can have a significant impact on the spiritual lives of those around us.  Our actions in times like this can either lift others to Jesus or demonstrate a situational Christianity that only believes when everything is good.

You’ve heard the standard answer before, “God gives us free will. Some will choose a life with Jesus and strive to live in His image to love, nurture, protect, and teach.  Some will choose evil.  And a few will choose an evil so base and vile that it is inconceivable.  Despite the circumstances that led a man to murder 21 innocent people – 19 of whom were children – it was his choice and his alone. 

Still, it’s not an answer that satisfies our need for understanding.  We desperately want to know why and how something like this could happen.  Why would our God, who loves us so much, allow such a heinous act?  Why would our God, who could have intervened at any time, not step in and stop him?  This may be a controversial statement, but if you read the chain of events that day, there were human mistakes and missed opportunities before this man reached Robb Elementary School.  There were choices made by fallible humans that affected the events of that devastating day. We can’t sit back and expect God to sweep in like a superhero every time evil rears its ugly head.  Sometimes, God sends us.  And we need to be prepared to step in, even when we are frightened.  I am not blaming any of these others for what happened at Robb Elementary school.  There were many courageous people inside and outside of that school building.  But I am also not blaming God.

God knows the pain and sacrifice of free will.  He lost His Son to free will.  The free will of a mob who chose to crucify Jesus and set a criminal free.  The free will of those who felt entitled to whip Jesus until he was unrecognizable.  Jesus knew He would die on the cross for people who would exercise their free will to choose evil and reject Him.  But He knew the only way for us to ever have relationship with God – to CHOOSE – would be through the free will that He paid for with His life.

Yes, God could force us to love Him.  But like any parent, He wants His children to love Him because they choose to.  To run to His arms because they choose to.  To accept his forgiveness because they choose to.  I believe that every child who turns his/her back on God is a devastating blow to our Father’s heart.  It is why He pursues us relentlessly and never gives up on any of us. Even those who carry out evil against innocents. 

Romans 8:28 is commonly quoted at times like these, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.”  This verse doesn’t say all things will be good.  Rather it tells us that all things will work together for His Good.  From the ugliest behaviors and tragedies, people will come to know Jesus and will be given eternal life.  Families will be strengthened.  People will step up to fulfill their God-given purposes.  Communities will come together.

God’s perspective isn’t our perspective.  And this promise doesn’t guarantee we will see results this side of heaven.  But if you are like me, I can look back over my life and during some of the most difficult times, God worked in me and for me for His good.  And I benefited greatly despite the pain of the journey.  I believe, when I reach my eternal home, I will be able to see my life as God saw it and know His hand used my mistakes and my sin for His purpose in my life and perhaps in the lives of others.

The enemy will continue to fight for his place in the world.  He will use empty broken people to carry out his plan to separate us from God.  To make you question, “Why?”  But God uses empty broken people to save other empty broken people. 

If we view this tragedy through our human eyes, our tears will blind us to opportunities to minister to others and trust God.  If we rely on our perspective, we will miss the hand of God working to take blood stained evil and turn it into the life giving blood of healing and restoration.  If we fixate on the why we may miss the how.  How can we be light in such a time of darkness?  How can we trust God in the deepest pits?  How can we lift one another up – in person or in prayer?  How can we come together as children of God to war against the enemy?

I don’t have an easy or acceptable answer for you as to why the tragedy in Texas happened.  I don’t have an answer for you as to why evil appears to win sometimes.  What I can tell you is that God does and has throughout history used evil for His good and purpose.   He doesn’t create it.  He doesn’t celebrate it.  But He is true to His promise that His love is stronger and greater than any evil.  If you can put aside your earthly logic and trust in the Word of the one who created you, He will whisper to you, “I am still in control.  Trust me.  Even when it doesn’t make sense.”

This week, I encourage you to pray for the families, emergency personnel, hospital staff, and all affected by the tragedy at Robb Elementary School.  Ask God how you can encourage others to trust in the Father, even when things don’t make sense.